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letemgobarefoot

I write about unschooling, living a self-directed life & parenting peacefully.✌🏻#Changingthescript on unhealthy dynamics. Inner work required.🧎🏻‍♀️

This may seem too simplistic, but physiologically

This may seem too simplistic, but physiologically speaking the body interprets the world in this manner very early on. Children don’t do nuance. Babies require food, shelter, security. If they don’t receive it, the world isn’t “safe”. Children are literal thinkers so there’s not much gray for them. For example, sarcasm is foreign to their developing brains. Their ability to “read between the lines” is fairly nonexistent until late childhood /middle school. So, shoot it straight with your littles.❤️

Newest book. Only a few pages in and Wow. Dr. Patt

Newest book. Only a few pages in and Wow. Dr. Patton is a straight talker.
Years ago, I caused an uproar on my personal Facebook page when I challenged the media storm around the Baltimore mom who was being hailed a hero for beating her son because he was near/participating in the riots. Let me be clear—my concern is the general response to such actions as being acceptable or even glorified. In this case-the media storm. I have no way of understanding completely what was going on in this mother’s mind and heart. I can certainly feel compassion for her as a frightened, worried mother and as a human struggling with a frightening situation. People I know took to my wall to support her actions: she did what she had to do, You don’t understand, and my momma beat me and I’m glad she did.
However, what I wonder is how are we to ever change personally or societally if we can’t call out the actions or behaviors of others that are causing another physical and mental pain? Are we not to ask questions simply because we can’t be in that person’s shoes or because we don’t understand deeply someone’s intentions? The action is the issue despite the myriad of reasons a person got to the place of taking that action.

What I find telling is how those who sided with the Mom’s decision (individuals, groups, and media) could not even consider that there were options other than violence. Furthermore, the media attention and propping up of that mother’s actions towards her child was contributing even more to the idea that violent control is the answer and best response to our children’s wayward behavior.
I sense it is each person’s own trauma talking and cheering this on. Not to mention pushing the damaging narrative that hard hitting mothers are the answer to saving our society from ruin. (Continued in comments👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻)

Maintain the gift of childlike wonder and the worl

Maintain the gift of childlike wonder and the world will never bore you. 🦋 #learningallthetime

Consider the primal needs of your child- that she

Consider the primal needs of your child- that she is safe & secure in her “tribe” aka family unit even when her emotions are overwhelming or her behavior childish. Isolation is not a solution for the child who needs emotional regulation help. They need external assistance in the form of a loving, gentle parent who can sit with them in their pain and walk them through their struggle.
Kids will do as well as they actually can. When they fall short of our expectations, take a hard look at what you’re expecting and retool as needed. I’m not suggesting you not have standards, I am simply suggesting that you be sure your standards and your child’s emotional development are in sync.
A calm, “I see you are very sad right now. I am here for you.” Can do wonders. Depending on the child, she may want to sit in your lap as she cries or sit across the room but have you near. You know your kid. Remind yourself, it’s when our kids are the most unlovable that they need the most love.💜

It has been my dream since I was a little girl to

It has been my dream since I was a little girl to write a book someday. From the time I lost myself in stories of faraway lands, adventures of brave children, and mysterious events I was certain my first book would be fiction. However, as time has unrolled her gracious gifts of opportunity and experience, my soul has been pulled towards nonfiction and unraveling the mysteries of the human heart and the impact of healthy relationships on our lives.
It is no secret I am especially curious, focused, and deeply interested in how a child’s emotional well-being is affected by early relationships and experiences.
As a constant observer, insatiable reader and researcher, I have pulled together a framework for creating emotionally healthy relationships with your kids. It is a straightforward and simple to understand guide inspired by science, intuition, personal experience and love.
As I put the finishing touches on it, I humbly ask for your good vibes (I get twitchy right before something big launches into the world) and prayers for strength and clarity (again, I get twitchy😅). Thank you, thank you, thank you for being a part of this loving, script changing, mindful parenting community. I am in tears right now as I finish these words. My heart feels expansive and nervous, but ready.
If you have been receiving my newsletter, you already got a sneak peek. If you want to stay up to date with happenings, please subscribe to my monthly (love)/newsletter.🥰 (Link in bio)

#changethescript #bethechange #mindfulparenting

Are you out of touch with your own essence? Have y

Are you out of touch with your own essence? Have you considered how this may be affecting how you view, interact with, and think about your own children?

It is a hard truth that many of us were cut off from our authentic feelings at a very early age. We were told things like: -Oh, put that food back. There's no way you are still hungry. -Stop crying. It didn't hurt that bad. -You are 8 years old. Shouldn't you be able to do a, b, or c by now?

We were told by "well-meaning adults" that our experience and our emotions were literally not right.
How confusing is that for a child? Children don't understand that adults bring their own set of beliefs into a situation. They don't understand that their parents may have unresolved trauma which affects how they parent.
A child simply feels a direct hit to their psyche. They internalize messages and beliefs about themselves. And either these kids grow up to recognize this reality and stop the cycle or they unconsciously repeat it with their own children.

I vowed to be a cycle-breaker. I don’t get it right 100% of the time. I’m still (after almost 18 years of parenting) fighting some inner demons. And I know my parents loved me and cared for my well-being. They weren’t trying to trip up. They were playing the cards of the hand they were dealt. I wished they realized they could pull from a different card deck altogether, but it did not happen that way.
It can for me though. How about you? Are you pulling cards from a different parenting deck with your own kids?

Our children represent possibility and hope. They

Our children represent possibility and hope. They are powerfully positioned to change our world, for the better, but we must give them a reason to do so.
How?

Help them understand what love is. Let them experience life in ways that encourage their curious, playful natures.
Give them opportunities to know what supported, respected self-expression looks like.
Show them what healthy boundaries look like by setting healthy boundaries in your own relationships.
Be a guiding light of positive self-care, love, and community.
When they use their voice to speak their truth, LISTEN. Do not shame. Seek to understand.
Teach them how to say "no" with confidence, which means you will also be called to respect their "no" even when it is said to you. Hard to hear, but true.
How can they practice setting boundaries about their body, mind, and soul if they don't get to practice it with the very people who say they love them the most?
This is not about being "soft" on children, it is about being respectful of their humanity.
And in doing so, you set the stage for them to respect other's humanity.

There was a time when my heart and mind wrestled w

There was a time when my heart and mind wrestled with the ideas I was trained to have about children, school and education.
—

Mind: Why do you want to go and do something different? You are a trained teacher, for Pete’s sake. You know kids go to school to be taught important subjects by trained people. It’s what our society expects. It is what has been done for a long, long time. Why upset the status quo? Are you sure you won’t mess things up? —
Heart: My child is flourishing in front of me. I see his smiles, his unbridled laughter, his zest for life and adventure. I watch him run and play with all his energy and I watch him fall onto the couch with exhaustion to rest. He requires gentle guidance to work through big emotions. He needs space to be alone sometimes, away from the busyness of life. He is a thoughtful observer and appears older than he is. I know what the school day looks like. I know how chaotic classrooms, students, and even teachers can be. It is a stark contrast to the free-flowing, low-stress life we lead.

Mind: Yes, but. Kids are supposed to go to school.

Heart: We are happy right now. We are able to live a life that is flexible, fun, full of adventure, and love. My kids get to sleep as long as their bodies need it. We get to participate in a variety of activities because we aren’t on a strict schedule. I don’t want to trade that in for a life that revolves around a school calendar. I don’t want a system to dictate to us when we can vacation together or take time off. I think what we have going is beautiful. I don’t want to disrupt that.
—

Ultimately, as you know, I followed my heart. My “trained” mind eventually let go of the idea that there was only one right path to an education. Yes, school is an option, but it is not an absolute necessity for a well-lived, vibrant, educated life. #unschooling #selfdirectededucation #consciouseducator

If you can’t BE in nature right now, look at pic

If you can’t BE in nature right now, look at pictures OF nature, especially places you’ve been before. Remind yourself of the sights, sounds, smells and the temperature. What did it feel like in your body to be in that space? Who was there with you or were you alone? .
Did you know that people in hospitals heal faster when they have a view of nature? She’s amazing like that. 💦 🌲 🏔

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