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letemgobarefoot

I write about unschooling, living a self-directed life & parenting peacefully.✌🏻#Changingthescript on unhealthy dynamics. Inner work required.🧎🏻‍♀️

Do you know the difference between healthy beliefs

Do you know the difference between healthy beliefs about your children and toxic beliefs?

Consider the thoughts you have in a day about what your children should or should not be doing, thinking, feeling, etc.

Where do these thoughts come from?

Are they your own thoughts or are they leftover thoughts from generations past?

We come into parenting with a host of beliefs about children whether we realize it or not. Some of these beliefs you may feel completely comfortable with on a moral level. Others may be there as the leftover toxic talk from your own parents.

When you recognize the difference you can reimagine the negative beliefs and patterns you bring to your relationship with your children and set the stage for a more accepting, positive one. 💖

EXPLORE It is in our DNA to be curious, to use ou

EXPLORE

It is in our DNA to be curious, to use our bodies, and to explore our surroundings. Kids embody this truth perfectly. From the moment they are able, children reach, climb, touch, taste, and generally interact with their environment. I have tried to facilitate this natural curiosity as much as possible over the years (within reasonable limits and considering healthy/respectful boundaries).

I love watching children learn and mine have certainly gained incalculable knowledge over the decades as they navigated unfamiliar territory and interacted with things, people, or situations that intrigued, challenged, or inspired them.

Each child approaches the world differently and moves at a pace that is true to their own inner compass. It is not a compass I get to rule over, but one I get the pleasure of observing and supporting as consciously as I can.

As parents, we are uniquely positioned to spur on our children’s natural desire for exploration or we could squash it if we aren’t careful. I’ve seen well-meaning parents create unnecessary fear and worry to the point that their children don’t trust themselves anymore. The most spirited kids will keep pushing back until they are heard. Those with softer dispositions are at risk of succumbing to the fear, losing touch with their inner guidance. I have been guilty of letting my fear drive some decisions. There are times when I’ve had to apologize and times when I felt like crap for allowing worry to get the best of me, but the truth is fear is in our DNA too.

The trick is to stay aware of your concern without allowing it to override every adventure. As we calculate risks openly and honestly WITH our kids, they learn to balance exploration and caution. And sometimes you just need to stay quiet, trust, and take the glorious pictures. 📸🥰

(This rock wall is huge! And the carved out space was too intriguing not to climb. My son is 6’2 for reference. 😱)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? “What

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” How many times did you hear this question in your youth? Do your kids get asked this question now?

While I see the question as an attempt to connect, it is an irrelevant question to ask of a child because it is practically impossible for them to know. Sure, kids may humor you with a response by telling you they want to be a fireman or a ballerina, or a Lego designer, but that is more telling of what they are curious about at the moment. Children do not think ahead in the same way adults do.

They live in the NOW.

Neuroscience research has shown us that the frontal lobe, the area responsible for executive functions like planning, organizing, and self-motivating, isn’t fully developed until the early 30s! Gasp. That’s right, not until the 3rd decade of life!

Why does this matter? Because it can help us reframe our questions. When we understand the science we can learn to better support our children AND respect the process of learning, evolving, and growing as a human.

Instead of asking, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” ask, “What are you interested in right now?” and LET them lead. #neuroscience #childdevelopment #learningallthetime #learningneverstops #letthembekids

GET OUTSIDE Wash yourself in nature. Breathe deep

GET OUTSIDE

Wash yourself in nature. Breathe deeply underneath the trees. Stand still and listen to her wind song. You are meant to be outside. The call of the wild is real. 🌲

We took a meandering trail through the woods at a park I have never been to before. Some friends moved recently and this gorgeous space is right down the road from their new house. There is also a large community garden and the walking trails are shared with cyclists so you had to stay alert. I felt more like I was in the mountains than a suburb. Love finding gems like this! #getoutside #nature

Hope the full video plays this way. If not, lmk! I

Hope the full video plays this way. If not, lmk! I shared on my story but gets cut off. (I’m still learning the posting rules!) #stopchildabuse #mentalhealth #health #childdevelopment #neuroscience

@dylan_sessler

NEW POST! This has been a long, heartfelt post i

NEW POST!

This has been a long, heartfelt post in the making.

For all you parents with gamers out there, particularly those who are worried or feel uncomfortable with gaming and just wonder if there's any benefit to it at all. I have finally written about my experience with my firstborn (who is now 18, a high school senior and crushing it in a Simulation & Game Development Program at the local community college). I share our journey, what the science says, and what kind of path gaming can forge.

An excerpt:

"I found time and time again that honest communication is the foundation on which a child grows. Establishing parameters with a solid purpose and mutually agreeable terms is how video gaming can be fun, exciting, educational, and safe. Sweeping “no” statements towards all gaming and gaming platforms don’t just alleviate gameplay, it alleviates opportunities for learning, growth, and connection."

https://letemgobarefoot.com/game-on/

As always, would love to hear your thoughts and answer questions about our journey and what gaming is like in your world! 🎮

Degrees have their place. Going to a four-year uni

Degrees have their place. Going to a four-year university may be the right path for your child based on his career/life goals. However, it is not an absolute need for everyone and in many cases a 4-year degree can be a terrible waste of precious time and money.

Being in the Information Age offers us choices. While the high school-college-career path still works for some, it is not *the* single best way to reach your goals. Does college teach kids how to organize, study, plan, and work hard? Absolutely. But so does literally working at a paying job.

Learning new skills no longer requires gatekeepers. If your children want to learn something, they can simply seek it out. And if your children want to run their own business someday, it is more possible than ever before.

Bottom line: Find what works for your child, be willing to explore all the options available and don't get stuck in old paradigm thinking. #thinkoutsidethebox #unschooling #lifebeyondhighschool

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED Over the years, I have ex

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Over the years, I have experienced the side-eyes, the moans, the “I couldn’t do that”s, the projection of worry and fear in regards to our family’s decision to homeschool. There were plenty of times when I swallowed that fear too and wondered if we made a huge mistake by taking this road. (Thankfully that only lasted a very brief time.)

You see, humans like the familiar and schooling is familiar. For better or for worse it provides a tried and tested roadmap. So when one deviates from the path that has been generally accepted as “right” nervousness and doubt creep in. Questions arise. Explanations are requested. There’s a handwringing that I know comes from a genuine place of concern...Will this be OK? Will your children make it in the world without going to school? How do you know what to do?

The beauty of this “road less traveled” is that it truly gets to be a path forged by honoring one’s inner knowing. Through hard work that means something and an abundance of play and adventure, each child creates a life that is unique to him or her. My role has been and always will be to nurture and nourish them by providing an environment that encourages growth and curiosity and by supporting their interests to the best of my abilities. All the specifics work themselves out.

Humans with a will find a way. 🧡#travel #utah #nationalparks #storms

Adventure is an absolute for the curious mind. The

Adventure is an absolute for the curious mind. There is nothing more powerful nor more transformative than a child stepping out of familiar territory and into some place new. #adventure #getoutside #capitolreefnationalpark

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