Follow our Adventures

letemgobarefoot

I write about unschooling, living a self-directed life & parenting peacefully.✌🏻#Changingthescript on unhealthy dynamics. Inner work required.🧎🏻‍♀️

My daughter, pup, and I took a walk through the a

My daughter, pup, and I took a walk through the area behind our house and the neighbor’s house. It is quite magical back there. Overgrown & lush. I fully expected to see a fairy. ✨But the area where the trees come together and there’s an obvious path that has been worn by the deer that trek through really makes my heart happy. Do you venture out of your yard into the overgrowth? #getoutside #nature #adventure #sunset

Let’s call it what it is...a mighty & important

Let’s call it what it is...a mighty & important role. You don’t just parent people who directly impact your family but who impact everyone they come into contact with. Parent in ways that ripple goodness into the world. 💗

Waiting for the shenanigans to end before crossing

Waiting for the shenanigans to end before crossing the looong suspension bridge.😅 Do your legs continue to tremble after you cross one and get back on solid ground? It is such a peculiar thing! #getoutside #nature #dailydose #spring #carolinas

Where we live, Wisteria can be seen high in the tr

Where we live, Wisteria can be seen high in the trees, vining across a wide area. The purple blooms pop against freshly sprouted leaves and limbs still bare from winter. This is the first time (in my almost 50 years) that I have seen a tree. It is breathtakingly beautiful.

Exactly, Joe. Why do we do this? Homeschooling wa

Exactly, Joe. Why do we do this?

Homeschooling was a choice we made for many reasons—nature time, freedom, flexibility, but one I’ve mentioned before is SLEEP. I saw firsthand how damaging sleep deprivation was to children I was charged with teaching. As a student, I and everyone I knew from elementary school to college, suffered from sleep deprivation at some point yet we were expected to show up ready to learn or to work. It’s like asking a drunk person to walk a straight line. Not easy and there will be mistakes.

I compare it to drunk people because sleepy driving kills more people than drunk driving...hands down, but we don’t have campaigns against sleep derivation. Why?

The evidence is SOLID. Lack of sleep is deadly and increases all sorts of factors for illness and disease. It’s not fringe science. It’s neuroscience, it’s evolutionary biology, it’s common sense.

If our schools truly are about learning then we must be honest about “school hours”, which are more about placing students in care to support work hours than they are about what is developmentally appropriate for our children. #sleep #sleepscience #sleepdeprivation

Do you know why you believe what you believe about

Do you know why you believe what you believe about education & parenting? Have you considered how you arrived at your conclusions or behave as you do? Are you driven by automatic/unconscious beliefs or are you conscious/aware of how & why you do what you do?

It’s an interesting exercise in self-discovery. Not to over analyze yourself, but to retool if some things are not working well or if you recognize things could be better with some honest, personal reflection. 😊#changethescript #reflection #awareness

Have you ever read Richard Louv's book, Last Child

Have you ever read Richard Louv's book, Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder?

As someone who spent a considerable amount of time in the classroom with children day in and day out, I saw how nature-deprived kids were. I saw how they longed for recess to last and how they sought more time in nature, but alas, had to return to the classroom to "learn".

When we decided to homeschool, being in nature was priority #1. We even named our homeschool after nature. I can safely say, it was one of the best and most important decisions we made over the years.

Children crave outside--they come alive in nature--they learn and develop amazing skills while being close to the earth and immersed in the natural world. A textbook or lecture comes NOWHERE close to teaching a child what they can learn while simply BEING outside, but I am sure you know this already b/c you’ve felt it and seen it yourselves.☺️

Highly recommend this book & highly recommend getting outside! 🐿🦌🌱🌙💫🦋

Healthy relationships with others do not keep scor

Healthy relationships with others do not keep score. Your children do not “owe” you. I have heard this many times in my life. Parents somehow believe that because they are providing their children with a nicer home, clothing, activities, and even better food than they had growing up that there is an unspoken expectation that they are now indebted to them. That is absolute bull and dangerous and wreaks of unhealed childhood issues with the parents.

Our children are autonomous individuals who get the opportunity to develop in ways that align with their purpose, goals, and plans. As a parent, my goal is to create the container, provide the space, for my kids to evolve. This means observing, communicating, assisting, listening, and yes, even getting out of the way. Their choices and their goals are not about me. To insert my agenda or to impose my will onto them feeds my ego and chips away at their sense of self. The result? A child who grows up trying to satisfy others and stops hearing his inner voice. Or becomes an adult who one day wakes up and wonders, “Who am I?”

If you are going to compare your own childhood to the one you are creating for your children and define it as “nicer” be sure you are examining the health of the emotional terrain and not basing it on material things and stuff.

A nicer neighborhood or cool clothes do not magically create a healthier soul. A better childhood is one that ups the emotional connection, rights the wrongs of generations past, and allows individuals space to learn, question, try, fail, and be wholeheartedly loved without feeling like they must pay back a debt.

Children will reciprocate the love, compassion, and respect they receive. That’s a fact. ❤️

How do you feel when your kid tells you “No!”?

How do you feel when your kid tells you “No!”? 🚫❌🛑

Do you immediately clinch up and prepare for battle? Are you ready to “win” in whatever situation is creating a resounding “no” from your offspring?

Have you ever thought that their “no” is an invitation to find out what’s going on under the surface? Have you considered that their no is a wonderful sound because it shows they feel comfortable and confident enough to share their true feelings with you?

Saying no is a skill and one that deserves respect. No is a boundary. No is an authentic expression of self. Our children learn to set boundaries and authentically express themselves by first practicing it with their caregivers and siblings.

You may be thinking, “But what if they “have” to do something? Or what if our family is participating in an event and he’s too little to stay home alone?” Then I will say, find out what’s under the no. Maybe he’s feeling uncertain, worried, or anxious about the event. Maybe she isn’t quite clear on the expectations. Maybe she’s worried she will be left alone with a cousin who has been unpredictable or rough in the past out of your view and she never told you.

There’s almost always a reason under the no even if they can’t quite verbalize it yet. When you spend the time to HEAR them and truly understand the WHY there is almost always an easy resolution and a comfortable pathway forward.
As for “have to”, I would suggest you think hard about any event, activity, or person that your child has to go to or has to be around that is causing a strong No.

No does not have to be a triggering word. Maybe instead of thinking of it as disobedient or rude and jumping into battle with your babies, consider it as an invitation into their tender hearts trying to navigate the adult-sized world with adult-sized expectations. Turn it down a notch and watch them rise to the occasion. You’ll both be better for it. #changethescript

Load More... Follow on Instagram