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Is There A Kindness Deficit In Your Home?
“There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” –Nelson Mandela Kindness is something we all respond to. When we come into contact with kind people, our radar goes up, we take notice, and we are affected–positively. Biologically speaking, being the giver of a kind act creates a wave of the feel good hormone, oxytocin, and according to research (and my own personal experience) makes us repeat compassionate givers. In some recent studies I’ve conducted, we have found that when people perform behaviors associated with compassionate love—warm smiles, friendly hand gestures, affirmative forward leans—their bodies produce more oxytocin. This suggests…
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Guilt is a Messenger? Yes.
”Guilt, the sense of anguish that we have fallen short of our own standards, is the guardian of our goodness.” In a 1983 article written by Jane E. Brody for the New York Times entitled, Guilt: Or Why it’s Good to Feel Bad she reviews the work of Dr. Willard Gaylin, a psychotherapist, who made the above assertion about guilt. “Guardian of our goodness” may seem a bit melodramatic, but I see where he’s coming from. Guilt, like anger, fear, frustration, worry, or joy, is a messenger. Another emotion firing off a signal, and in guilt’s case, signaling that something is counter to our goodness. The tricky part is to peel back…
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If You Want Children to Love Learning, Let Them Lead
It’s 11 a.m., the first day of the new year, and my 14 year old has just come out of his room. Hair disheveled, loving grin on his face as his tall body bends over to give me a hug. This is how every morning begins if I’m home when he wakes. A warm embrace and a grin almost immediately followed with, “What’s for breakfast?” Today he says, “Mom. Did you know that the largest tsunami created a wall of water 3 miles high?” “I didn’t know that. That’s unbelievable.” I’m obviously interested and he continues with stories about prehistoric weather events, asteroids, the power of atomic bombs, and engineering…
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Teens Need you to Read This
“It has become a cultural cliché that raising adolescents is the most difficult part of parenting. It’s common to joke that when kids are in their teens they are sullen, uncommunicative, more interested in their phones than in their parents and generally hard to take. But this negative trope about adolescents misses the incredible opportunity to positively shape a kid’s brain and future life course during this period of development.” As a former teenager myself and now a parent of one, I found this article to be a mixture of redemption and hope; a nice wake up call to parents and educators everywhere to change the conversations we are having about…
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A New Kind of Mother’s Day
As a child I made and bought my fair share of cards for my mom to celebrate her on Mother’s Day. When I had any money I would buy her something, no matter how small, as a token of my appreciation for the work she did for me. I embraced these ‘holidays’ and felt excited to pitch in with my brothers when I got a little older to buy her something pretty or practical–a decoration for the house, a necklace, a bookcase, a microwave (it was the 80’s and a microwave was a big deal!). Many of those Sundays, I was her faithful companion to church because my brothers and Dad…
